Tuesday 24 January 2012

The Year of the Dragon

It's Chinese New Year again and it is the Year of the Dragon.

Yes! It's Dragon's year. And in keeping with the rollercoaster journey she's taken me on so far, welcome the to the first day of my Chinese New Year.

I start the year feverish and ill. Bad.

I go to the doctors with Dragon as she's come out in a strange rash. It turns out she has folliculitis. This is Not Great.

I bump into a friend in the waiting room whose little boy has a high fever. The doctor doesn't know what is wrong. They have to go to A & E.  I start to go with her but we are not allowed on the bus. She jumps in a cab. Dragon is looking peaky so I do not follow. They are still there in hospital. They were supposed to go to New Zealand for a two month trip this week. This is Bad.

Dragon spends the rest of the day with a runny nose and a cough. Sigh. Bad.

She starts bursting into tears frequently for no apparent reason. She has never done that before in all her months of illness. Oh dear. Bad.



Behold the Bad Tempered Dragon


    Unexpectedly someone sends me chocolate biscuits and someone else gives Dragon a beautiful gift for no reason whatsoever apart from the fact she wants to. This makes the day better and is Good.

    I am supposed to write my essay but my old wrist troubles have returned. De Quervains is the bane of my life post pregnancy. Bad. Bad. Bad.

    I spend the first night of Chinese New Year having an ultrasound scan of said wrist and end up having my fourth steroid injection in 10 months. A few hours later I am in agony and cannot move my hand at all. Despair.

    A friend unexpectedly drops by with some food she has made us for Chinese New Year, refuses to come in and heads straight off again on her two hour journey home. Oh the kindness. I can barely speak.  The definition of Thoughtfulness.

    I sleep very little for Dragon coughs throughout the night, as do I. Yes, you can guess what this is.

    By morning my hand is no better. I feel like crying. But I don't.

    I complete a good chunk of my second essay draft. Phew!

    I find out we owe £1300 to EDF. I feel like crying. But I don't.

    Husband brings Dragon  home from nursery. I take one look at her and take her temperature. She has a fever. Poor baby. Curse you whoever you are that causes baby sickness. I'd shake my fist at you if I could move my hand into a fist to shake.

    Hand improves marginally. Hope. Not a bad thing to have at the start of a new year.

    And here we are. The first day of the Year of the Dragon. Tumultuous? Yes. Boring? Never!

     Which really sums up my little Dragon quite well.



    Monday 9 January 2012

    But What Do You Do All Day?

    When I was childless, it mystified me as to why people with kids always said they never had any time or energy.

    What's keeping them so busy?  I wondered.

    Sure I'd heard about the sleep deprivation that newborns could cause but that was a just a phase right? What did these parents do that used up all their time and energy? After all there is 24 hours in a day.  I decided they must be exaggerating.

    Well feel free to slap me.

    Because they were NOT exaggerating.  At all.

    After Dragon had been in my life for a few months,  non-parent friends asked me things like:

    Have you been following that story in the papers?
    Have you read any good books lately?
    Have you been to any good shows recently?

    Oh how I laughed. But I shouldn't have because I was exactly none the wiser myself before Dragon.

    So where does all my time and energy go as I sure as hell don't have much of either? I decided to take an inventory. Just a random day in the life of a mum of a nine month old.**

     Here goes:

    5.00: Dragon wakes and cries. I ignore her.
    5.15: Still crying. I kick Husband out of bed to go soothe her
    5.30: Dragon falls back asleep. So does Husband. I lie awake wishing I could.
    6.05: Dragon wakes again. Cries
    6.15: Breastfeed Dragon
    6.45: Sit with Dragon in steamy bathroom and do her physio (for a mucus issue - long story).
    7.05: Dress Dragon and change nappy.
    7.30: Plonk Dragon in front of TV. I get changed, make beds, tidy Dragon's room and get her and my breakfast ready
    8.00: Feed Dragon. Feed myself.
    9.00: Play or Skype Family/Friends
    9.20: Dragon nappy change and nap
    9.40: Clean breakfast mess, fold and put away laundry. Put in new load of washing. Tidy house. Cook food for Dragon for following day. Answer emails. Make phone calls. Do online errands.
    11.00: Dragon wakes. Check nappy. Give snack. Play if staying in or head out to meet friends or for some baby activities (paying exorbitant amounts of money for 30 minutes of singing and clapping, baby swimming, ie holding them in water for 30 mins etc)
    11:45 Hang out new load of laundry if home. Get Dragon and my lunch ready
    12.00: Feed Dragon lunch. Feed myself.
    13.00: Clean lunch mess if at home
    14.00: Prepare bottle and feed Dragon
    14.30: Dragon nappy change and nap
    14.45: Time to MYSELF!
    16:00: Dragon wakes. Give snack. Play or go out. Meet up with mum and baby group. Cook or shop
    16:30: Do second bathroom physio session with Dragon.
    17:15: Get Dragon dinner ready
    17:30: Feed Dragon dinner
    18:30: Bathe Dragon and get her ready for bed
    19:00: Breastfeed Dragon
    19:20: Clean up Dragon dinner mess and kitchen
    20.00: Eat dinner with Husband
    20:30: Get Dragon food sorted for next day. Pack any bags needed for next day. Shower
    21:00: Collapse. Talk to Husband. About Dragon
    23:00: Breastfeed Dragon
    00:00: Sleep
    03.00: Dragon cries. Husband and I pray to the Baby Goddess. Please, Please, go back to sleep.

    And sometimes, she does.

    It'll be just as busy when she is bigger*

    Not every day is as above. There are days where we are out and about from morn to night. Days where we have visitors. Days where surprises happen. Days where I get to go out and do whatever I want. Days where I go to uni and kickstart my brain.  But the one constant throughout is that Dragon needs a LOT of care; day in , day out

    And for now, I wouldn't have it any other way.

    *Image courtesy of Fotolia UK

    **To give him his full credit, the Husband is also the primary carer for Dragon. He looks after her most weekends and does her morning routine twice a week on weekdays too. And cooks and cleans and all of it.  And did 80% of the night feeds when she was a newborn. And gets up and soothes her when she wakes in the middle of the night. He is a Good Egg.





    Sunday 1 January 2012

    A New Year Dawns...

    Wow. What a crazy year 2011 was.

    I pushed a human being out of my nether regions. That human being now can sit, eat and give me cheek.

    What will 2012 bring. This time next year, what will my little world look like?

    The very first blog entry I wrote here in 2008 was about whether or not children keep you young. I had heard this saying before but never understood it. To me, all parents looked permanently exhausted, not youthful at all.

    Now that I have joined the ranks of exhausted caregivers, I finally understand what it means.

    Having a young kid takes a lot. It takes all your time, energy, patience, sanity. But what you get in return is immeasurable.

    Hope springs eternal in human breast wrote Alexander Pope.

    It's true. In the dark hours of another sleepless night, your baby looks at you or holds onto you in a certain way and all exhaustion is forgotten and you are renewed.